you know you're home when...

yes. you know you're home when you inadvertently arrive at the aroma that is 191st street off the 1 train. there is a very distinct smell as you walk out the elevators and head on the street to walk up to wadsworth avenue. maybe the smell finds origin from paul, monica, star and their associates, i'm not sure. but that smell now equals meaning to my mind: welcome home! here's the thing about smells. for example, when you get off the B/D train at grand street, you don't have to see all the tiny little asians running around, you know by the smell, before you even leave the tunnel, that you're in chinatown. for real, do you think its possible to just close you eyes as you ride along and get off only according to the smell as the subway doors open? for example, if you didn't see the picture of me and stevey in soho and could somehow smell, do you think you could pick out the diner we're sitting according to contemporary psuedo_medicinal_lore, smell is the sense most closely associtated with memory. i don't know if i buy that or not, but let's consider that the point nonetheless.



my absolute un-favoritist smell: the smell of ex-girlfriends. i dated this girl in high school and even to this day, when i catch a whiff of the lotion she would wear, i feel like i'm 17 again. (then again, i feel like that often as it is anyway) now, for real, if you look back on your relationships, most likely, not that many ended horribly. so again, most likely, you have positive emotions associated with those memories. so where am i going? i hate the smell of ex-girlfriends when you have to live with the looming: why didn't that one work again? because you probably just remember the good times more vividly anyway. the issues and concerns seem to melt away with time, but the fun times, the inside jokes, whatever, that all remains. so this jog back into a past (that was good) juxtaposed with a present (that is nothing) carries a wind of a different manner. and you wish you never had the accompanying residue of that once pleasant smell as it corrodes to the order of stench.